Manys Paths To Hell

Labor Day. Wow. What can I say. I am obviously a major slacker. No, I take that back, I think I am just a very busy person who has had way too many children in her house over the past two months to do much of anything except try to keep her head above water. That would be another one of my idiosyncrasies...drowning. I am terrified of drowning and I have felt as though I were drowning in my own self doubt for a very long time. Why do people have such low opinions of themselves? I know I am capable of so much more than I am doing now, but for some reason I have convinced myself that this is all life has to offer. I need to just give up and deal with what I've got which, in my opinion, is a very real version of hell. It is really hard to break through glass ceiling you create for yourself. To be able to swim through all of the crap everyone else has thrown into your pool of self-doubt and figure out what is real and what is fantasy is very difficult. I was always told to not trust my own opinions. I should listen to others because they are more knowledgeable or somehow better than me. Personally, I think I have a lot of good opinions and I am pretty self sufficient in my own right. So why, of all people, wouldn't I know what's best for me? I keep listening to everyone telling me what I need to do and what I need to think and I don't buy any of it. I think everyone, at least a lot of people I know, are of the opinion that same is good and change is bad. Maybe I like change. It may be scary, but at least it isn't a stagnant black tar sucking you down into the dark abyss. Start living life for you and not for other people. They may not have your best interests at heart. They may even have their own selfish plans or ulterior motives that they need fulfilled. To each their own, but I don't need to be any one's stepping stone to their own demise. If I choose to go down it will be on my terms and I'll do it with a smile on my face. There are many paths in life and it's time to choose.