Andrea's profile on Yahoo!

Andrea's profile on Yahoo!:

Football Can't Be That Bad...Stop Snoring!!

What can I say, I have had an entire week sans my kids...haven't gotten much accomplished. I am hoping that soon I will figure out what I am doing wrong and get back on track...if I ever was on track...that is. I can't imagine how I can get motivated. That might be one of my problems. I thought I had a pretty good imagination too. That can't be good. Max's football team had an away game in Sturgeon Bay. Notice I didn't say Max went to his football game. Yesterday after school I picked him up for football and he refused to go. I assumed this was one of his daily tantrums and he would eventually get ready and go. He didn't. I wasn't about to drag him out the door, so I called a friend and told him that Max wasn't coming to practice. At five thirty I finally talked him into going with me to the parent meeting that they were having after practice.When we got there I asked him if he was going to stay in the car and he said yes. When the boys finish their practices they always do a cheer where they pound on their pads and yell. I looked at Max in the car and he was doing it right along with his team. The kid likes football and I can't for the life of me figure out why he is fighting playing it so hard. So, anyway, this morning surprise surprise he said he wasn't going to his game. I was so tired of fighting with him I said fine, but that means that no one in the house is to do anything remotely fun. No video games, no movies, no computers. I thought maybe, just maybe, if he saw his actions were not only affecting him, but the entire house as well, he would go. No such luck. He still refused to go. So, I headed out giving the entire family explicit instructions not to let Max do anything that they knew I would disapprove of. I went to meet the bus at St. Jude's and ended up riding with some friends. We had a great time on the ride and at the game. Max called about half way through asking what was going on. I told him the score and that I would be home after the game. Gus called a little while later and asked if they pick up in the basement if they could have the video games back. I said there was no way they were getting anything back before I got home. A little while after that Chip called me. "When are you going to be home"? he asked. I said, "The game is only half over, I'll be home after it's done and we drive home". You would think he could have figured that one out on his own. Guess not. Despite my many interruptions I actually had a nice time at the game. When I arrived home, however it was an entirely different story. All the kids were fighting and complaining. They wanted to be able to play their video games. I made them clean up the mess they made while I was gone.Their dad was home, by the way, but sleeping, the entire time. I did let them on for a while because they did what I said, but then they started fighting again so I had to take it away again. This was my entire day. Fighting and punishing until I woke Chip up at four and made him get us some pizza. That appeased them for a few minutes. Long enough for me to catch a little sanity. We watched a movie together as a family for the first time in months and then when I told Chip I was going to go out for awhile he started in on the fact that I should stay home and spend some time with him. I was home the majority of the day with him, he just happened to be sleeping, is that my fault? According to him, yes. So, long story longer, I'm out and writing this. I guess I am just a bad mom and wife for needing sometime when there aren't six people constantly vying for my attention, or snoring in spite of it.

Manys Paths To Hell

Labor Day. Wow. What can I say. I am obviously a major slacker. No, I take that back, I think I am just a very busy person who has had way too many children in her house over the past two months to do much of anything except try to keep her head above water. That would be another one of my idiosyncrasies...drowning. I am terrified of drowning and I have felt as though I were drowning in my own self doubt for a very long time. Why do people have such low opinions of themselves? I know I am capable of so much more than I am doing now, but for some reason I have convinced myself that this is all life has to offer. I need to just give up and deal with what I've got which, in my opinion, is a very real version of hell. It is really hard to break through glass ceiling you create for yourself. To be able to swim through all of the crap everyone else has thrown into your pool of self-doubt and figure out what is real and what is fantasy is very difficult. I was always told to not trust my own opinions. I should listen to others because they are more knowledgeable or somehow better than me. Personally, I think I have a lot of good opinions and I am pretty self sufficient in my own right. So why, of all people, wouldn't I know what's best for me? I keep listening to everyone telling me what I need to do and what I need to think and I don't buy any of it. I think everyone, at least a lot of people I know, are of the opinion that same is good and change is bad. Maybe I like change. It may be scary, but at least it isn't a stagnant black tar sucking you down into the dark abyss. Start living life for you and not for other people. They may not have your best interests at heart. They may even have their own selfish plans or ulterior motives that they need fulfilled. To each their own, but I don't need to be any one's stepping stone to their own demise. If I choose to go down it will be on my terms and I'll do it with a smile on my face. There are many paths in life and it's time to choose.

What the Hell...Flying Cake!!

I have had an entire summer to figure out what the hell I am doing and I am no closer to figuring that out than I was two months ago. I must admit that my summer was much better than I had anticipated. I figured the kids would drive me nuts and I would be completely fried by the time it was over. For some reason, believe it or not, we had a lot of fun. I was almost sad when the kids went back to school. I got over it pretty quickly. Today was Eddie's golden birthday. She had been promised a little trampoline by her dad about a month ago which should have left plenty of time to order it and have it ready for her birthday. But since he was the 'promiser' her birthday has come and gone without a present in sight. Not that I'm an angel...I have also disappointed the kids on occasion. But I knew the second he told her she could have one for her birthday that he was gong to blow it off like he does everything else and she would be left without anything. It happens the vast majority of times that he promises someone something. I guess they should be used to it by now. She has been bugging the crap out of him ever since to take her to the store and get her one. Normally I would tell her to stop making her daddy feel bad, but I'm not going to this time. Maybe sometimes people should feel bad for their actions. If they don't then they will never change, right? I went out on Friday and got Eddie a princess cake. Today I was carrying it across the kitchen and it slipped right out of its packaging and launched itself onto the kitchen counter. She was not pleased with me, to say the least. In my defense it was just part of the cake because we had celebrated her birthday the night before. She didn't care. It was still the biggest tragedy of her life up to that point. Until I screw up again, of course. Eddie has a lot of tragedies. Probably hundreds a day. I have lost count. Thank goodness she has started school. I am so very excited to see what comes of this year. If I can't fix things without children underfoot then I guess there is no hope for me. We will just have to wait and see. Wish me luck!!

Plant My Carrots Now...How 'Bout Now?

Wow, you would think I had a job or something with how busy I have been lately. I guess I am just easily distracted. I can only do three thousand things at once and this was three thousand and one. It had to go. I am happily writing this just minutes after dropping Max off at his friends house. His friends family are headed up to their grandparents cabin for the next three days! Can you believe it? My child, who will not let me out of his sight for more than a few minutes, is gone for three whole days. I hope he will behave. I'm sure he will be fine. He saves all of the best tantrums for me, isn't that sweet? On Sunday I am supposed to bring him and his brother and sister to summer camp in Clintonville. We are planning on picking him up on the way somewhere in Shawano and then driving down to the camp. I say "supposed to" because I know my child. He says he will be fine going straight to camp after being away from home for three days, but he has promised me things before and threw such a fit afterwards that he got his way. I hope that is not going to happen. I'm sure the people at the camp are used to kids who don't like being away from home and should be able to handle him...I hope. That's just me being a disaster theorist again. I think about the worst possible outcome and when it turns out to be not so bad I feel like it is actually good. Yes, I am stupid enough to trick myself into believing things that aren't necessarily true. Or does that make me unbelievably smart? It's not that funny. So, I am trying to figure out what I am going to do for the next couple of days. This might be even better than when I leave to get some peace and quiet. Maybe I can actually get some things accomplished around the house. I've always said that if I had a Saturday or two a month where the kids were occupied somewhere besides with me, that I might actually not lose my mind. You would think that wouldn't be too much to ask. Especially when I deal with them and all of their needs 24/7/365. Except for the one week a year when I go to Florida with my sisters and a stray evening once in a while when I feel the need to go out and not take them with me. I guess it is too much because it hasn't happened yet. I can't believe how good some people have it. Not that I don't think they should get help from their husbands, I do. It's just that they get help and still complain and I get no help and feel totally guilty when I do complain. So I'll stop. Eddie and Lex are bugging me to come and plant carrots with them. Eddie has been in here about fifteen times asking me, "When we are going to plant our carrots?"," Is it time to plant the carrots?", "Where are we going plant the carrots?", "Why can't we plant the carrots now?". I guess I had better just go plant the darned carrots. With my luck, Eddie is just going to take over for Max and need me twice as much as normal and the weekend will be no different than usual. Other than the fact that I, yet again, had an expectation (of a little less stress and a little more quiet) that was so way beyond the realm of reality, it was ludicrous. Oh great, now she's asked sixteen times. Gotta go! Time, tide and Eddie wait for no man.

Crossroads or Crosswords?

I am finding it really hard to get on here this summer, I wonder why? I truly can't figure it out other than I have had a serious bout of temporary insanity that took me a good week to shake. I would have filled everyone in on my adventures, but then you would all know too much and I would have to kill you. I'm just kidding...I think. Max is finally in summer school. I am so happy that he likes it. He is not thrilled about a whole lot of things. I figured I would have to fight with him every morning just to get him up and ready for the bus. Other than this morning, he has been up at six and we've gotten out the door by 7. Today was the exception and totally my fault since I over slept and we got up at seven. Needless to say, he missed the bus and I had to drive him all the way to Red Smith school, which is a good twenty minute drive. I figured that since I was already that far from home I might as well stop and see my parents. I went in intending to just stay a few minutes. I was lucky to get out by 1 p.m. Once my Mom starts, it's an endless stream of things that she needs help with. I am happy to do them for her and luckily today, I had the time. Just for starters she wanted a Yorkie picture put in as her face book profile picture, yeah, I know... scary that my Mom's on face book. Then she needed her cable channels fixed...again. And then she wanted me to figure out why she couldn't find one of her friends on face book. She said he had sent her an e-mail asking her to join his list. He was on something called life story or some such thing so the reason she couldn't find him is because she was looking on a completely different website. These things would have been doable in an hour or so tops, but then she came out with the dreaded crossword puzzle. She has been talking about this puzzle for weeks. She said it is the "hardest one she has ever seen". She should know because she does the "puzzle" religiously. I've been busy, so I've been able to avoid the inevitable "just take a peek at it I'm sure you have to know some of these answers", until now. I spent almost four hours looking at this stupid thing. First, I had to see if I could do it on my own, that didn't work. I started looking things up on the Internet. I have to be pretty hard up to do that. I couldn't find anything. I was minutes away from cheating and just searching for the solution and writing the answers in for her. I would be the "goddess of all crosswords". Knowing me, I wouldn't be able to pull it off because I am such a horrible liar. I finally conceded the fact that I could not help her. The really sad thing is if she had just looked in the paper the next day the answers would have been there and she could have saved herself countless hours of mind-numbing droning over something as trivial as a crossword puzzle. Although given the fact that I spent a good chunk of my day doing the exact same thing, I guess I shouldn't be her judge. I am guilty of the same crimes. Once I set my mind to something there is no stopping me until I have figured it out. I wonder if this might be why I never get anything done? I am unable to do anything without putting my full attention towards it. Who can do that when there are so many things being thrown at us day after day? It would be a miracle if we could focus all of our attention on any one thing. I am going to have to start finding little chunks of time to allot to doing part of something and be happy with any progress made and maybe eventually I will turn around and there will be something substantial there. Any effort would be an improvement. The potential to create and thrive is still there. I need to find my drive and determination again. Crossroads or crosswords they both need level headed thinking and concrete choices. Like my Mom with her "hardest one she's ever seen" crossword, I hope can keep reasoning and plugging away until my puzzle is complete, no matter how long that takes. I'm pretty sure I'll solve it...eventually.

Wanna Kiss Your Brain???

We had just stopped home for a minute to pick something or someone up the other day when from the back seat I hear "Mom, Mom, hey Mom". I said "Yes, Eddie what do you need"? "Look Mom, this is how you kiss your brain". I turned to look and she was kissing the palm of her hand and then patting it on the top of her head. I almost lost it. Too freaking funny. Of course, after hearing my laughter, she kept asking, "What's so funny, Mom. Is it me again"? I guess I will never learn my lesson. I really have to stop encouraging her, but what fun would that be? She has also taken to singing along with me to the songs on the radio. Cute, right? I don't know if you've been listening to anything that's been on the radio lately, but they are probably not the best things for a five year old to be singing at the top of her lungs in public. Her current favorites include "Birthday Sex", "Fire Burning", and the ever popular "LoveGame" by Lady GaGa . Who by the way, looks kinda like Debbie Gibson did in the eighties, but rated XXX. I thought Eddie's singing was very adorable. Then the other day, out of the blue, she says, "Hey Mommy, what's a disco stick"? Also not the best thing to laugh my ass off about, but of course, I did! Oh well, if the worst thing she becomes is a comedian I guess I could have done worse!