Sibling Battlery?

What is it with kids and having to fight 24-seven? I swear, I stop one fight only to have another one erupt in the next room. It's kind of like cleaning my house. While I clean one room they are somewhere else making a mess. It never ends. The arguments are never about anything important, it's always who gets the dog or who went into whoms room. Mind numbing stuff actually. I know kids really do feel that these things are important, but as parents it can be trying because we know that if he touches you again he is not going to die. Life as we know it will still function and there will be time for another fight - later - after mommy's headache has finally ground down to a semi-constant throb. I try to explain that these things will pass and they shouldn't get so upset over the little things. They don't buy it. I've even let them go at it because I felt they needed to get out some frustration but it always backfires, someone gets hurt and again it is a shouting match to tell me who's fault it was to begin with. I'm hoping this is not just me, otherwise I am just broadcasting to the entire world how terrible of a mother I am. Oh well, I doubt if many people are listening anyway! And if there were a ton of people reading this I would be so popular that I guess I wouldn't care what anyone thought of me!

Eddie kept asking me today if what she just said was cute and if I wanted to write it down. See? When you have kids everything you say is under constant scrutiny and study. Every word I say goes into the vault that is their memory to be taken out at the most inopportune times. I have a very bad memory so they have me cornered pretty much every time. I refuse to answer any questions unless I am perfectly sure what they asked because knowing me I would agree to buy them something and when they don't receive their prize be branded as the mommy who breaks her promises. Even as careful as I am I still get suckered into stuff once in awhile especially when I'm tired and just want them to stop asking. Also a very bad habit to get into. But sometimes easy wins over lesson teaching. And that's okay because not every battle needs to be won and not every score needs to be tallied you just have to survive to fight another day.

Anyone for Child Leash Laws?

Seriously, how boring am I? I have actually tried to post the last few days, but everything I wrote came out pissy and bitchy and I'm sure no one is interested in reading that. So, we went to the Mall of America this past weekend - sounds like fun, right? Did I mention I have five kids??? Holy crap. I have never been so bent out of shape in my life. Every fifteen minutes I was looking for a different one. They kept wandering off. Forget the fact I told them to stay close or to check in, they didn't pay one bit of attention. It was like they saw the bright lights and were drawn as far away from me as possible. You would think that two of us could keep track of the five of them, nope. It's not like it happened once either. It happened over and over and over. I'm thinking that might be the last trip there for awhile. The worst one was when we went to dinner and when Max finished he got up and left, I assumed he was going to the bathroom. He never came back. He was gone for over two hours before we found him. My nerves are still shot. He says he told me were he was going, but I highly doubt it! I am such a glutton for punishment that after we found him we still stayed another hour or two and I they got lost a couple more times. My kids do not learn very fast. Nor do I, apparently.

We spent Sunday driving home. A trip that normally takes about 3 hours took us eight. We drove up to Rice Lake to have pie-really good pie, mind you, and then over to Rhinelander to look at the businesses and then south to get home. The kids were really good until about an hour and a half from home and then the bickering started and didn't stop until we pulled off of the highway near the house. But even with the knock down drag out in the back seat I had a very nice day, at least they were all contained in the car and I could see them. It's amazing what one can put up with when she sets her mind to it!

To Frost or Not to Frost?

This one takes the cake, literally. I was busy looking something up on the Internet when all of a sudden I heard someone yell from the kitchen "What did you just do? Mom! Eddie just frosted the dog!". I didn't think I had heard correctly so I asked again. The same answer, I got up to take a look 'cause that's the kind of involved mom that I am. When I got there my dog was in the middle of the floor covered in periwinkle blue frosting from his little black ear all the way down to his tail. I asked Eddie what in the world she thought she was doing. She said she didn't do it. Even though she still had the remnants of the crime sticking to her little finger nails. I picked up the dog and put him in the sink for a bath and asked her again, "Why did you put frosting on the dog". This time she said she wanted to watch him spin around trying to lick his own butt. "Why would you want him to do that" I asked. "Because it's funny" she said. And ya know what? It was pretty funny. The dog needed a bath anyway.

Lonely?

A good friend of mine once told me, I have lived alone for most of my life, but I never feel alone. I thought about that comment for a long time. My only response was, then how in the hell if I live in a house with seven people in it can I so often feel alone? Not a very pleasant thought is it? So now why is it this way? What makes his life that much richer than mine? I think some of it has to do with the fact that I don't have an actual goal set in my life. Unless I was meant to fill my days with meaningless time passing activities I don't think I am living up to my full potential. Now, how can I figure out what my potential is? My days are filled with children asking questions and children telling stories and children telling me about their days, which in and of itself is all well and good, but once in a while a person needs to talk to real grownups. I need new ideas and new interactions. I will try to find interests among the other half of society, the ones who can stay up late and make their own decisions and don't have to check with their mommies before they can go out. There is a whole world out there that I have been ignoring for far too long. I think it's time to stop wondering what's out there and find out what's out there. Who knows, it might be something wonderful!

Maybe you can tell by my post time that the kids have been kind of quiet today. Although I did go on an hour long walk and felt very refreshed - until I opened the front door. One was screaming that the other wouldn't give him the hamster. I swear it never ends. They can be in the best moods of their lives and all of a sudden - here we are again. The world is going to end if their problem isn't resolved immediately and I need to listen now! Earlier I was checking my e-mail while three of them sat in my vicinity and proceeded to tell me their own individual stories and sadly, I listened to all of them. I guess that could be considered a talent, couldn't it? I am incapable of tuning them out unlike someone else in this household. I need to work on how to get them to wait their turn when trying to tell me something. I think the problem arises when they all have something to say and I don't have the time to sit and listen to them individually. They have learned to adapt and they all start talking at once. I'm beginning to understand a few of my stress issues! Just one more reason why I need to spend a little more time in the land of the Big People.

Spring Break?!?

Why do people complain about their husbands working late? I am in seventh heaven right now. I haven't heard a 'where's my remote?' or a 'who made this mess?' all night. Life is much calmer without the 'better half' around that's for sure. I wish I could say I'm taking this quiet time to get caught up with everything that needs to be done but unless sitting on your ass in front of a computer screen all night is on the list I guess I'd have to say no. The kids went straight from adorably cute to downright annoying in one fail swoop. Who knows, maybe it was the rain or maybe I'm just a bitch. I've always been told I'm moody - only by people without an ounce of emotion in their entire bodies - but still it may be just me! I have one child who is just not happy unless he is tormenting another. Hmmm, I wonder where he could have gotten that from? I have another who thinks Mr. Tormentor gets away with everything under the sun, which he probably does. A third who thinks they are both the devil in disguise and lets me know that frequently with her blood curdling screams because of a look or a gesture from one of the 'devils'. A fourth who will just start crying no matter who is bothering him and then there's Baby Princess who likes to stir it up with whomever is nearby. Oh, don't ya just love Spring Break? I'm sure this too shall pass. Who knows, my sisters and I picked the crap out of each other when we were kids and we still talk - sometimes. Life is a series of ups and downs and turnarounds. Hopefully I can end up facing the right direction.

After a full day of being royal pains in my ass my wonderful children suggested we go out to dinner. Normally I would have been like 'are you kidding?' Why reward bad behavior with a night out? I should say that's probably what my husband would say. I think they understood that I needed to relax as much as they wanted to eat good food. So off we went we had a wonderful time and I'm thinking - sometimes children do know best!

Kid's Say the Darndest Things

This is what I woke up to this morning, 'Mommy, Mommy, hey, Mommy my underwear feels like a butt'. How can a person not have a wonderful day after that? I think I laughed for a good ten minutes. I even ran to get a piece of paper to write it down. Eddie kept asking what was so funny? Between my fits of laughter I think I said 'you are' which is not the right thing to say to a kid with an attention complex. I can't imagine what she's going to be like in a few years. I've always tried to keep the kids semi-calm 'cause once you rile up five kids you have a free for all. They don't understand what going too far is, they just want to have fun. Sometimes it is such a bummer being the mom. I want to be the one who starts copying someone just to be annoying or sit right next to one of them and say ' I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you' or how about the infamous 'I know you are, but what am I'? You gotta admit it's a blast. But someones got to be the adult and stifle all of the creativity out of their young lives. Oh, wait, that's their dads job and he is so good at it! Meanwhile, I'm going to tickle the crap out of my little girl!

Princess Eddie is still on her 'cute' rampage. She came running up the stairs saying 'Lex hurt me!' I asked her why and she said he didn't want her to sing and dance in front of his video game. I told her she could sing and dance for me and she said 'but Mommy, there isn't enough stage room on the bed'. Well, I guess she told me - didn't she! Today I'm going to enjoy the little things and maybe appreciate the ride a little more.

Why So Young?

Okay, can I plead ignorance? I was just a kid a summer out of high school when I met my husband. How in the hell is someone with that little life experience supposed to make an informed decision? Everyone under the age of, oh, let's say 25, needs to pay close attention to that last sentence. What the hell was I thinking? We dated for a few years and got married. I have never had a real job nor do I have any degree or experience of any kind except maybe if you can count wiping noses and butts, hopefully in that order. I don't know if I didn't think I was going to be able to do any better or if at one time it was better. In the process of raising a family I have completely lost myself. I always had ambitions and dreams, I think. It has been so long now I can't be totally positive. I think they were noble and righteous and I'm sure, knowing myself as I do, a hell of a lot of fun! I was so anxious to get on with my adult life. I wanted to be married and start a family and for that I am so very grateful. I would never change one thing about having my children. Okay, maybe I would have had a few more epidurals - those things rock! But I digress, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I am very grateful but on days like today when I feel like walking out the door and never even looking back, I'm a little concerned. How can I be so confused? It's like I have spent the last 15 years of my life making left turns and I am about an inch and a half from where I started. I certainly am not trying to imply that I have any one to blame but myself. I'm a big girl and can make my own decisions but that's not as easy as it sounds. Making decisions is a scary prospect. Decisions mean consequences. I'm sure most of my daily decisions are good ones. I was raised a good Catholic girl for goodness sake! But when I do make a wrong decision, I can't stand the pressure of having made a mistake - also a direct result of being raised a good Catholic girl. I look at people around me and how much they have accomplished in the same amount of time. Some have started businesses, some are successful with three post doctorate degrees and some are remarried two or three times. Not that I want to do any of those things but it illustrates the fact that they were not standing still like me. I have been watching the world spin and everyone on it has been having the ride of their lives, literally. Time to hop in and hold on for dear life!

Tonight has been pretty calm or as calm as a house can be with seven kids in it. My kids have friends over and I think they are still a little shocked from the scary tax 'discussion' mommy and daddy had a few hours ago. I hate tax time! I am not the most organized person on the planet, okay I'm probably in the lower third or fourth or maybe even sixteenth. Oh crap, let's just say there are a lot of people more organized than me. The point is that there is always something that isn't in the tax envelope and I need to find it immediately or the planet will explode! I don't do stress well. Obviously neither does my husband or he wouldn't be so convinced that the end of the world hinges on whether or not we get our taxes in on time. Funny, I know I can't handle stress, yet I have so many kids. Didn't think that one through very well either! The world isn't going to stop spinning and politely invite me to join the party so I guess it's time to jump on! Wish me luck!

Why Now?

I have been married for 15 years and a mother for 14 of them. Doesn't give me a whole lot of time to find myself. Somewhere between Sweet Sixteen and the depressing age I'm at now- which we will not be discussing - things got a little mixed up. How can fifteen years of a persons life go by like a blink? I swear, I was just trying to decide what china pattern I wanted - which by the way has never found its way out of the buffet - now I have a teenager. Crap. Everyone always says 'enjoy your kids while they're young, the time goes by before you know it'. They never, however, say 'make sure you take a little of that time to figure out who you are or there will come a day when you aren't quite sure who you are supposed to be'. How does one separate oneself from the everyday grind long enough to find a point to shoot for? Well, I've had this dilemma now for way too long. I am going to find my point and I'm going to shoot for it. We'll have to wait and see if it's a bulls eye or a total miss but at least it will be a shot.

Just for perspectives sake in the last 30 minutes I have had three different children come in and try to explain to me that this time it really is an important problem, no, they are not kidding and yes, it was truly a matter of life and death. One needed her blanket NOW because her brother decided to use it as a cape. Another really needed to tell me about something he did in school - a week ago. And the third was just sitting next to me asking insistingly about why the dog was growling at him while he was holding said dog upside down on his lap. So, anyway, hopefully I will find a few more 'uninterrupted' moments to write again. I guess we'll have to just wait and see. Meanwhile, I'm going to keep shooting! ~andie