Why Now?

I have been married for 15 years and a mother for 14 of them. Doesn't give me a whole lot of time to find myself. Somewhere between Sweet Sixteen and the depressing age I'm at now- which we will not be discussing - things got a little mixed up. How can fifteen years of a persons life go by like a blink? I swear, I was just trying to decide what china pattern I wanted - which by the way has never found its way out of the buffet - now I have a teenager. Crap. Everyone always says 'enjoy your kids while they're young, the time goes by before you know it'. They never, however, say 'make sure you take a little of that time to figure out who you are or there will come a day when you aren't quite sure who you are supposed to be'. How does one separate oneself from the everyday grind long enough to find a point to shoot for? Well, I've had this dilemma now for way too long. I am going to find my point and I'm going to shoot for it. We'll have to wait and see if it's a bulls eye or a total miss but at least it will be a shot.

Just for perspectives sake in the last 30 minutes I have had three different children come in and try to explain to me that this time it really is an important problem, no, they are not kidding and yes, it was truly a matter of life and death. One needed her blanket NOW because her brother decided to use it as a cape. Another really needed to tell me about something he did in school - a week ago. And the third was just sitting next to me asking insistingly about why the dog was growling at him while he was holding said dog upside down on his lap. So, anyway, hopefully I will find a few more 'uninterrupted' moments to write again. I guess we'll have to just wait and see. Meanwhile, I'm going to keep shooting! ~andie