Lonely?

A good friend of mine once told me, I have lived alone for most of my life, but I never feel alone. I thought about that comment for a long time. My only response was, then how in the hell if I live in a house with seven people in it can I so often feel alone? Not a very pleasant thought is it? So now why is it this way? What makes his life that much richer than mine? I think some of it has to do with the fact that I don't have an actual goal set in my life. Unless I was meant to fill my days with meaningless time passing activities I don't think I am living up to my full potential. Now, how can I figure out what my potential is? My days are filled with children asking questions and children telling stories and children telling me about their days, which in and of itself is all well and good, but once in a while a person needs to talk to real grownups. I need new ideas and new interactions. I will try to find interests among the other half of society, the ones who can stay up late and make their own decisions and don't have to check with their mommies before they can go out. There is a whole world out there that I have been ignoring for far too long. I think it's time to stop wondering what's out there and find out what's out there. Who knows, it might be something wonderful!

Maybe you can tell by my post time that the kids have been kind of quiet today. Although I did go on an hour long walk and felt very refreshed - until I opened the front door. One was screaming that the other wouldn't give him the hamster. I swear it never ends. They can be in the best moods of their lives and all of a sudden - here we are again. The world is going to end if their problem isn't resolved immediately and I need to listen now! Earlier I was checking my e-mail while three of them sat in my vicinity and proceeded to tell me their own individual stories and sadly, I listened to all of them. I guess that could be considered a talent, couldn't it? I am incapable of tuning them out unlike someone else in this household. I need to work on how to get them to wait their turn when trying to tell me something. I think the problem arises when they all have something to say and I don't have the time to sit and listen to them individually. They have learned to adapt and they all start talking at once. I'm beginning to understand a few of my stress issues! Just one more reason why I need to spend a little more time in the land of the Big People.