JWPP...pssst.

Another Monday! I need to revel in the fact that I have a few hours to enjoy the quiet and stillness before the chaos ensues once again. Today is going to be even more enjoyable because you know who is out of town. The kids and I are going to have a nice relaxing evening, knock on wood! I think I'll suggest watching a movie. Okay, what is it with the Jehovah's Witnesses? I really don't like being rude to them, but they are stalking me. I swear, I am not lying. One weekend, when all of the kids were home a woman and her grandson came to the door. The kids were convinced that the boy was one of the neighbor kids, so they answered the door. I was stuck listening to the woman talk about Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior for twenty minutes while the kids ran around and chased the dog and generally made a nuisance out of themselves. She finally left and I told the kids not to answer the door unless they actually knew who it was. A few days later, I was coming home from picking up Eddie and there was a car parked in front of my house, I found that to be odd, but didn't think much of it. Five seconds after I got in the door the doorbell rang. It was her with three of her friends. This time I told her I had to get the baby ready for class and I didn't have time to talk. She said "yes I noticed you just came home". I wanted to say, "what are you casing the joint now?" but I held my tongue. A week or two later, Gwen was home alone and the woman came again, do you think Gwen ignored her? No, she opened the door and sat and listened to the woman, encouraging her even more. When I came home that day, Gwen gave me the pamphlet and said "hey mom that woman you know stopped by", like she is my best friend or something. I said I didn't know her, she was just someone who was traveling from house to house talking about religion. So, today I didn't see a car when I got home. I answered the door unknowingly and there she is again. This time she was actually quite respectful of the fact that I didn't feel like sitting there and listening to her for an hour. She gave me her little literature and left, but what in the heck? Do they have surveillance set on me or what? How do they know when I'm going to be home? I guess I need to just ignore the door bell. A grown woman hiding out in her house when the person on the other side of the door knows full well that she is home is a little sad. Maybe I should just grow some and tell her to f-off, yeah right, like that will ever happen. I guess I'll just have to learn to be very quiet or pretend I'm deaf or something. Obviously, I can't stand confrontation. I've got it! The most logical solution is to move. I will join the JWPP - the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program. Wish me luck , but not to obviously, lest they get a whiff of where I've gone!