Parental Approval...Who Needs It?

It doesn't matter how old I get anytime my parents are around I am time warped back to being a little kid. Everything I do and say makes me feel like I am like twelve years old again. I am always seeking their approval and can't seem to stop it. I spent Gus' whole game showing my mom all of my beads that I am using to make jewelry, yes, yet another hobby. I made a necklace last night and I was so proud of it, I wore it to the game. In my defense I didn't know my mom was going to be there. I was just trying to pass the time during the most boring game ever invented. I have issues with anyone, but especially my mother, approving of what I do at any given moment in time. I have a fragile ego, obviously. Luckily she liked it , kind of, she had an issue with the randomness of it which was kind of the point of the entire necklace. I wanted it to be totally random. It's almost as hard to explain what I mean in print as it is to explain it to my mother. She is very artistic, but doesn't necessarily like all art. If she doesn't think a particular piece is any good she will definitely let you know. This may be the reason I never did any real art when I was young. I never felt what I did met with her approval. It was probably just me being too sensitive but it seemed that she was pretty sure I was void of all talent when it came any type of artistic pursuits.Too bad kids don't know that what their parents say does matter to a point, but they are certainly not the end all be all of opinions. When you are a kid all that matters is your parents approval...what else is there? Can you imagine the magnitude of talent that has been squelched just because parents disapproved of something a child was interested in? It happens all of the time. A child is totally excited about something they did and when they go to show it to someone they are either ignored or worse yet they are told it is not any good. Sometimes, of course it isn't any good and I guess we should not encourage these instances but other times it is very good and we, as parents, are either too tired or too fed up to care and we unintentionally, I hope, squashing their little creative minds like a bug under our collective shoe. I sound very bitter. Maybe I am. You know what? I am. I have wasted too many years believing what other people had to say about me. I know I shouldn't freaking care, but that is much easier said than done. Everyone has a self perceived fault of some kind that no matter what anyone else says they are always going to believe it doesn't measure up. In my case it is pretty much everything. Yes, my parents did quite a number on me. Did I have a point? I think it is that it doesn't hurt to treat your kids with respect and give their talents the light of day that they deserve. We shouldn't blow them off because we are busy or their sibling might be better at that particular talent, or some other asinine reason that at the time seems convenient. Children are not only sponges for knowledge but also for all of the crap we tell them about them and their abilities whether it is positive or negative. They will suck it up and then it is in there for good. Just look at me, it doesn't matter how many people tell me I am good at something I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that is saying, "No, Andrea, you are not that good, look at that person over there, now they are good, you should try to be more like them". Thanks mom and dad! I'll just have to try to work on my self-esteem so as not to waste the remainder of the short years on this earth because of things my parents may or may not have said eons ago. Like I said when it comes to parents, it is really hard to let things go.